


Abjure

by camichats



Series: Dictionary Prompts [35]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Moving On, Post-Break Up - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 22:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15277341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Tony goes missing, and Bucky tries to go on with his life.





	Abjure

**Author's Note:**

> Like the tag says, I don't even know. About any of this. It just came out. 'Alternate Universe' in this case means definitely not modern, and also no powers. The technology, society, placement of cities... it's all up in the air. 
> 
> Please note! We never actually see Tony and Bucky together in this, it's just Bucky dealing with him being missing and trying to get over him.

Bucky had been in love, and then Tony just... vanished. He'd been living with him for over a year, and then one day- poof. That was it. And the worst part about all this? Tony had been running from something, he had no ID of any kind, and Bucky was pretty sure that 'Rhodes' wasn't even his real last name. Nothing was gone, Tony hadn't taken anything with him, and because Bucky didn't have a real name for him, he couldn't report him as missing.    
  
If Tony had left, he would have taken a few things with him. Bucky didn't believe Tony would steal from him, but Tony did have a few things that he'd bought with the money from his job-- clothes and the like-- and all of that was still in the apartment. Which left Bucky thinking that two things might have happened. One: Tony decided to up and leave for whatever bizarre reason and thought taking anything with him would be too much. Two: Tony got kidnapped or killed by whoever he was running from and there was fuck all he could do about it because he knew nothing about Tony's life before he met him.    
  
Bucky did some amateur detective work (also known as snooping) and figured out that sometime between Tony getting off work and making it home is when it happened because Mister Lee said Tony had been his normal self for his whole shift, and clearly he’d never made it home because Bucky had gotten home before Tony’s shift ended that day.    
  
He agonized and stayed up late in the distant somewhat twisted hope that Tony would only come home if he saw that Bucky was up and waiting for him. After a week, he couldn't stay up half the night anymore because he was falling asleep at work. Every night though, he left out a note for Tony, telling him that if he came back Bucky was glad he was safe, and he didn't have to explain anything-- signed and dated, with a new one made every day so Tony would know the offer was fresh.    
  
A month passed and Bucky started to really worry that something had happened to him, and he would never see him again. He switched to writing a new note every week instead of day.    
  
Six months passed and he boxed up Tony's things and left them in the closet. He stopped writing the notes.    
  
Five months passed and he moved the boxes from the closet to the attic space. Steve invited him to church, and Bucky said yes because he had nothing better to do with his time. He prayed. It felt dishonest, but Tony had been a little religious-- more culturally than in practice-- so Bucky prayed on his behalf. If he had died... well, Bucky wanted him to be happy and safe no matter where he was, and he liked to think that if Tony knew about what he was doing, it would make him glad.    
  
He went home and put a picture of them in a frame and set it in the living room. He put the little ring box behind it and traced his fingers over Tony's smiling face in the photo. Tony might be dead, might be alive and in pain, or he might be alive and well and just didn't want to be with Bucky. As much as it hurt to think of any of those options, Bucky came to a sort of peace with it. No matter where or how Tony was, Bucky accepted that there was nothing he could do. If Tony had chosen to leave, then that was his choice. It didn't change the fact that Bucky loved him and had wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.    


* * *

Time passed, and Bucky and Steve moved. Steve tried to convince him to get rid of Tony's boxes, but Bucky couldn't help but hold onto them. He kept the picture, the ring, and his clothes. He knew that he should let go because it had been five years and what were the chances that Tony would still be around for him even if he was still in the world, but he couldn't, not without confirmation. It had been hard enough for Steve to convince him to move in the first place that Steve let it go and just accepted what he'd already won.    
  
"Come on, Buck, this is a great opportunity for me."    
  
"I know." When Steve continued to look desperate, Bucky added, "I want you to go, Stevie. I know this is once in a lifetime opportunity for you, and I want you to take it."    
  
"I want you to come with me," Steve said.    
  
"What?"    
  
"I want you to come with me," he repeated.    
  
"Why?"    
  
"You're my best friend, and after Peggy..." Steve trailed off, looking away, but Bucky understood. "I just don't want to be alone, you know?" After Peggy had entered an arranged marriage and left, Steve had been more vulnerable. Neither of them blamed Peggy of course. What she and Steve had had was cute as a bunny, but they had no guarantee that it was going anywhere, or meant anything beyond having a few cute dates together. Peggy had still talked to Steve about it before she made her decision-- it's not like she just up and left him one day-- but it had still hurt him and he hadn't been on three consecutive dates since. Once bitten and all that, Bucky supposed.    
  
"I know. And I don't want to leave you to Manhattan all by yourself, but I can't go I-." Bucky stopped and really thought about what was keeping him here. The memory of Tony, and the still clinging hope that someday-- somehow-- he'd be back. His job was nothing to stick around for, even if working at the diner was a nice enough place to work. He swallowed thickly. "Yeah man. If you need me to come with you I will."    
  
"You mean it?"    
  
"Yeah Stevie," Bucky said, patting his shoulder and trying on a smile that felt just this side of too stiff. "Who knows? Maybe we'll fall in love all over again."    
  
Steve put a hand to his chest and affected wide eyes. "Bucky! I thought we agreed that we'd never work."    
  
Bucky snorted and ruffled his hair. "You're a punk. Go pack."    
  
"I need boxes."    
  
"Of course you do. Then get in the car, we're going to the store."    
  
Manhattan was... big. Brooklyn was a small town in a big place-- the modern settling down in the past greatness-- so while the size of the buildings was perhaps familiar, the large swell of people at all times of day was not. It made Bucky nervous, and he and Steve had to find an apartment together instead of having their separate houses like they had in Brooklyn. Considering that they'd grown up sharing a room, sharing a living space wasn't hard, just unfamiliar. Getting a job was easy but miserable. Bucky didn't really care, and he lied when Steve asked if he was enjoying himself. Something about this place put him on edge, but then again, he'd never truly moved before. Born and raised in Brooklyn, and here he was as a thirty year old moving to the big city with a small town disposition and a wounded heart. It wasn't his favorite way to live, but here he was.    
  
"The Stark's are having an expo tonight," Steve said, tickets in hand and excitement written on his face. "I got them at work, it's supposed to be a great show. They have a presentation that's supposed to be amazing-- something right out of the future-- and different booths. Even if there's nothing good, it should be a good night out."    
  
"Stark's?"    
  
"Family of engineers, big money in this city. Their company employs me for my art, that's why we're here. Where is it you work? The Triskelion factory, right? They own that too, so really we both work for them. Come on Buck, it'll be fun. I know how much you like science... stuff."    
  
"'Science stuff'," Bucky repeated, laughing. "Yeah you got it. Who knows? Might be a fun time."    
  
Steve's grin got wider. "Exactly."    


* * *

Steve was positively buzzing with excitement beside him, and it was infectious. The lights lit up the stage, and the music started. A line of women did a little dance to present Howard Stark, who apparently was the head of the family if the people whispering around them were to be trusted. His accent was unfamiliar to Bucky, something more like the accent people here in Manhattan had, but with an extra edge that probably meant he had grown up in money with a fancy neighborhood and only the servants with the low-brow accents around him.    
  
His voice wasn't familiar but that face... Bucky leaned forward and squinted. Bemused, he went back to his normal posture and tapped Steve on the shoulder. "Does he look like Tony to you?"    
  
Steve cocked his head. "I guess. He's kinda far away, and it's been a while since I've seen Tony obviously, but he could be." He sighed and turned to Bucky more fully. "I know that you loved the guy, but he's gone. You need to stop seeing ghosts everywhere, and- try to move on."    
  
"It's not like I'm stopping myself from falling in love Stevie, I just haven't found anyone that strikes my fancy." It might have been a lie, but Bucky wasn't sure. What did it matter whether he'd moved on or not? It's not like anybody had shown an interest in him. He wasn't missing out on any opportunities because he was hung up on someone that had left him years ago.    


* * *

Bucky went to the library on one of his days off, looking through old newspaper clippings until he found what he was looking for. 'Anthony Stark, Missing' Son of Howard Stark, aged twenty, last seen at the Stark Family Mansion in Malibu. It was his Tony. He rifled through even more newspapers and found the article about his return.    
  
Shortly after, he found the one about his death.    
  
Bucky found a secluded corner and cried.   
  
A year later, he got rid of the boxes with Tony's clothes. He kept the photo and the ring.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [@cami-chats](http://cami-chats.tumblr.com)


End file.
